We're All Going to Die!

If the swine flu ... 2009 H1N1 Influenza A of 2009 ... swine flu doesn't get us, the Eye-rain-ian Invasion will:

WASHINGTON (AP) — Israel's president charged Monday that Iran's nuclear program threatens the United States, Europe and Arab nations, as well as Israel.

"The fanatic rulers of Iran are on the wrong side of history," Shimon Peres told a convention of the American-Israel Public Affairs Committee, the pro-Israel lobby in Washington.

"In addition to their nuclear option, they invest huge capital in long-range missiles," he said, asserting that Iran is not threatened by anybody. He said that "Iran funds and arms Hezbollah in Lebanon and Hamas in Gaza to spread divisions in Lebanon and among the Palestinians, divisions and terror."

The wrong side of history, eh? A nice Marxist turn of phrase, but ... well, maybe history does have a "wrong side" ... and maybe Mr. Peres is on it. I could easily be wrong, of course, but I'm guessing that, with the Depression of 2008 coming into full blossom, the proprietors of The Preciousssss may not have much luck in convincing my 'Murkin countrymen that what's really needed is to kick off a third -- or fourth? -- war against Islam over in Islam's back yard. Maybe Peres & Co. are just pretty much urinating up the proverbial rope there.

Of course, convincing the great American public isn't really necessary; after all, we're getting pretty good at hopping to it and doing what we're told. Still, our corporate masters may also have a small problem with kicking off another hot war: it has to be paid for borrowed for, somehow. And since we seem to be too broke to consume the usual amount of Asian-made merchandise, it may be that the Chinese will feel constrained to tell Uncle that the MasterCard's all maxed out.