Wednesday, September 12, 2012

It Must Be Time For Regime Change ...

... in Libya.

Oh, wait, we already did that, didn't we?  Didn't we pretty much see to it that last year's New Hitler, Moammar Gaddafi, was butchered eliminated taken out?  Good.   Then there's no more problems in Libya.  So, let's see, Americans killed by towelheads ... what to do, what to do ... I know!  We need regime change in Syria!  Get rid of the latest New Hitler, Assad!

I mean, what could go wrong?

Or maybe regime change in Iran?  Again, what could go wrong?

Or, uh ... just thinking out loud here ... ahhh ... we could ... maybe ... mind our own business?  Come home?

Nah.  Sorry.  It's a non-starter, I know.  Forget I mentioned it, please.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

My Buddy Bibi

Imagine my surprise to see in the news today where Benjamin Netanyahu has finally said something I can agree with completely.  (Or maybe I could call him "Bibi," since we're so tight these days.)  Kind of made me muse a little, about an impossible alternative universe where I have The Power here in the U S of A.
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu on Tuesday said the United States had forfeited its moral right to stop Israel taking action against Iran's nuclear program because it had refused to be firm with Tehran itself.
Sure, Bibi, I'm right with you, except for the "forfeited" part -- after all, you can't forfeit what you never had.  And, the way I see things, since Israel is a foreign country, about the only thing we have any business stopping Israel from doing would be invading the US.  OK, Bibi, I'm pretty much with you so far.  Go right ahead:
In comments which appeared to bring the possibility of an Israeli attack on Iran closer, Netanyahu took the Obama administration to task after Washington rebuffed his own call to set a red line for Tehran's nuclear drive.

"The world tells Israel 'wait, there's still time'. And I say, 'Wait for what? Wait until when?'" said Netanyahu, speaking in English.

"Those in the international community who refuse to put red lines before Iran don't have a moral right to place a red light before Israel," he added, addressing a news conference with Bulgaria's prime minister.

Netanyahu has been pushing Obama to adopt a tougher line against Iran, arguing that setting a clear boundary for Iran's uranium enrichment activities and imposing stronger economic sanctions could deter Tehran from developing nuclear weapons and mitigate the need for military action.
You're right as rain, Bibi; if I had my way -- oh, wait!  I do! -- the US would -- I mean, will now -- completely mind its own business and not even suggest, not even hint, that foreign country Israel may not attack / invade / destroy foreign country Iran.  You've gotta do what you've gotta do, as you see it.

Oh, and speaking of the US minding its own business: you know that annual $3 billion in US aid to your crappy little country?  That's history, as of this moment.  Don't interpret that as some kind of arm-twisting, though; we're through subsidizing you, whether you make war on your neighbors or not.  And I certainly hope you weren't assuming that we'd make war on Iran, just because you do.  That sort of foolishness is also all done with.

You see, Bibi, my country's broke.  That money we've been shipping to you?  That was borrowed anyway, and that nonsense has to stop, and I mean stop yesterday.  Believe it or not, there's American citizens right here who don't have money or jobs or anything, and ... well, you know, charity begins at home, as the old folks say.  You know that vast standing army we've been sending to the Middle East for, well, no good reason at all?  That was wrong; but, even if it wasn't, we're broke and can't pay for stupidity of that kind any more.  (Truth to tell, we never could, but that's water under the bridge now.)  So we're reducing our military, and our military spending, to a level commensurate with the actual defense of actual US territory, which means we don't need about 95% of it.

They say every cloud's got its silver lining.  And there's one good thing about being insolvent: it makes foreign policy a rather simple business.  Refreshingly so, I think.

It's a whole new world out there, Bibi.  So don't worry about any red lights from spoilsport old Uncle Sam; there won't be any.  Knock yourself out, bud.

Thursday, September 06, 2012

Global Nuisance

Shouldn't Mrs. Clinton be in North Carolina right now, inspiring the donkeys?

Or maybe in Louisiana, consoling the victims of the recent hurricane?

Wait -- here's an idea!  She could go to Afghanistan to review and inspect the Afghan security forces that our Troops have been heroically training.  They seem to need a stern talking-to about not being a bunch of naughty Talibs and al-Qaedas and turr'rsts and all that.

But no.  She's flitting back and forth to China, embarrassing herself (if that's even possible) and such small fraction of her fellow Americanoes as may still possess a working brain:
In a short, frustrating visit to Beijing, Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton was stood up Wednesday by the future leader of China and delivered a stern lecture on China’s rights in the South China Sea.

Both China and the United States aired their differences about how to handle the uprising in Syria.

During the third stop in her nearly two-week sweep of Asia, Clinton had hoped to meet with Vice President Xi Jinping, who is expected to get the nod next month to succeed Hu Jintao as China's president.

Xi also canceled meetings Wednesday with the Singapore prime minister and Russian officials, claiming a back injury. Nonetheless, the no-show at the session with Clinton was widely interpreted as a snub.

In advance of the visit, Chinese state media lashed out at Clinton, ridiculing what it said were her efforts to maintain American “hegemony” in the Pacific. Beijing particularly resents U.S. efforts to mediate China's competing claims with neighbors — Japan, Vietnam and the Philippines, in particular — to barren islets and reefs around its waters.
You have to love those scare quotes around hegemony.  I mean, what would you say is being maintained, when US functionaries are sorting out disputes among east Asian countries concerning east Asian matters?  Last time I checked, there's no US territory anywhere near the South China Sea -- not even if you count Hawaii as such, which I'm not much inclined to do.  But that's another discussion.  In any case, I'm sure what we're maintaining isn't hegemony, which would be bad; it's probably our full-spectrum dominance that's being maintained.  Which is a good thing, since we use it to give the gift of Duh-mocracy.

Whether the lucky recipients want it or not.

In fact, maybe especially if they don't want it.  It's more fun that way, you see.