My Buddy Bibi

Imagine my surprise to see in the news today where Benjamin Netanyahu has finally said something I can agree with completely.  (Or maybe I could call him "Bibi," since we're so tight these days.)  Kind of made me muse a little, about an impossible alternative universe where I have The Power here in the U S of A.

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu on Tuesday said the United States had forfeited its moral right to stop Israel taking action against Iran's nuclear program because it had refused to be firm with Tehran itself.

Sure, Bibi, I'm right with you, except for the "forfeited" part -- after all, you can't forfeit what you never had.  And, the way I see things, since Israel is a foreign country, about the only thing we have any business stopping Israel from doing would be invading the US.  OK, Bibi, I'm pretty much with you so far.  Go right ahead:

In comments which appeared to bring the possibility of an Israeli attack on Iran closer, Netanyahu took the Obama administration to task after Washington rebuffed his own call to set a red line for Tehran's nuclear drive.

"The world tells Israel 'wait, there's still time'. And I say, 'Wait for what? Wait until when?'" said Netanyahu, speaking in English.

"Those in the international community who refuse to put red lines before Iran don't have a moral right to place a red light before Israel," he added, addressing a news conference with Bulgaria's prime minister.

Netanyahu has been pushing Obama to adopt a tougher line against Iran, arguing that setting a clear boundary for Iran's uranium enrichment activities and imposing stronger economic sanctions could deter Tehran from developing nuclear weapons and mitigate the need for military action.

You're right as rain, Bibi; if I had my way -- oh, wait!  I do! -- the US would -- I mean, will now -- completely mind its own business and not even suggest, not even hint, that foreign country Israel may not attack / invade / destroy foreign country Iran.  You've gotta do what you've gotta do, as you see it.

Oh, and speaking of the US minding its own business: you know that annual $3 billion in US aid to your crappy little country?  That's history, as of this moment.  Don't interpret that as some kind of arm-twisting, though; we're through subsidizing you, whether you make war on your neighbors or not.  And I certainly hope you weren't assuming that we'd make war on Iran, just because you do.  That sort of foolishness is also all done with.

You see, Bibi, my country's broke.  That money we've been shipping to you?  That was borrowed anyway, and that nonsense has to stop, and I mean stop yesterday.  Believe it or not, there's American citizens right here who don't have money or jobs or anything, and ... well, you know, charity begins at home, as the old folks say.  You know that vast standing army we've been sending to the Middle East for, well, no good reason at all?  That was wrong; but, even if it wasn't, we're broke and can't pay for stupidity of that kind any more.  (Truth to tell, we never could, but that's water under the bridge now.)  So we're reducing our military, and our military spending, to a level commensurate with the actual defense of actual US territory, which means we don't need about 95% of it.


They say every cloud's got its silver lining.  And there's one good thing about being insolvent: it makes foreign policy a rather simple business.  Refreshingly so, I think.

It's a whole new world out there, Bibi.  So don't worry about any red lights from spoilsport old Uncle Sam; there won't be any.  Knock yourself out, bud.