Change You Can Believe In: Today's Update

And now ... representing the giant credit-card usurers of America from their home state of Delaware in the U.S. Senate ... Jo-o-o-o-ooe Bii-i-i-i-iiden!

Ladies and gentlemen, but today, today that American dream feels like it's slowly slipping away. I don't have to tell you that. You feel it every single day in your own lives. I've never seen a time when Washington has watched so many people get knocked down without doing anything to help them get back up.

Almost every single night, I take the train home to Wilmington, Delaware, sometimes very late. As I sit there in my seat and I look out that window, I see those flickering lights of the homes that pass by, I can almost hear the conversation they're having at their kitchen tables after they put their kids to bed.

Like millions of Americans, they're asking questions as ordinary as they are profound, questions they never, ever thought they'd have to ask themselves.

Should Mom move in with us now that Dad's gone? Fifty, sixty, seventy dollars just to fill up the gas tank? How in God's name, with winter coming, how are we going to heat the home? Another year, no raise. Did you hear they may be cutting our health care at the company? Now we owe more money on our home than our home is worth. How in God's name are we going to send the kids to college? How are we going to retire, Joe?

You know, folks, that's the America that George Bush has left us. And that's the America we'll continue to get if George -- excuse me, if John McCain is elected president of the United States of America. Freudian slip. Freudian slip.

And, folks, these are not isolated discussions among families down on their luck. These are common stories among middle-class people who worked hard their whole life, played by the rules, on the promise that their tomorrows would be better than their yesterdays.

That promise is the promise of America. It defines who we are as a people. And now it's in jeopardy. I know it. You know it.

I'm sorry, Senator, what was that about your bankruptcy bill? Remember that one? At least it must have, uh, simplified some of those gloomy kitchen-table conversations, right?

But enough of that depressing stuff. What we Americans really like -- what would really perk us up -- is a war! But not a stupid war, like the one we made on Iraq (and the one Sen. Biden supported foursquare at the time ... but never mind, never mind, nothing to see here, move along). No, we need a brand-new war! Maybe we could pick a war with Russia?

Ladies and gentlemen, in recent years and in recent days, we've once again seen the consequences of the neglect -- of this neglect, with Russia challenging the very freedom of a new democratic country of Georgia. Barack and I will end that neglect. We will hold Russia accountable for its actions, and we will help the people of Georgia rebuild.

Now, I fully expect that Senator Yes-We-Can is going to be elected prexy, and Senator 29%-Penalty-Interest-Rate is going to become veep. It's not a cheerful thing that my best hope is that virtually everything they're saying is a lie.