Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Official National Mourning

Waves and waves of inconsolable grief have washed over the Federal workforce in the wake of the death of former president Gerald Ford. So sharp and profound is the feeling of desolation among the troops of the bureaucracy that most of the gummint, including the post office, is closed today.

We can only hope that extra traffic police are on duty today to deal with the congestion around the various memorial services that all these coffee-break-takers will be attending. The sense of dislocation that attends the extension of their holiday weekend by an extra day must also be taken into account. No doubt, many thousands of grief counselors will be working overtime today, talking the civil-service folk through the process of finding renewed meaning for their lives in the absence of Gerald Ford.

Ah, the oceans of tears being shed today! The uncountable waves of gut-wrenching grief! Ah, the humanity! You and I should be humbly proud to do our part for our public masters servants by paying them for yet another day of no work.

6 comments:

John said...

The word on the streets (at least what I heard) was more like "I NEEDED that letter, today! DAMN it!"

"Shit! He died LAST week! He only served for two years anyway!"

Bartleby said...

You know, John, I think we could get behind this "taking a day off because a former President died of natural causes at an advanced age" thing, if only the suspension of government were a little more comprehensive. Here's an idea: suppose we decide we're all so broken up with grief and loss that we require a day off from paying any taxes?

Works for me ...

John Good said...

I am. . .with you. . .brother! Stick it to the Man. . .

Mike Sylvester said...

I think you would be surprised how MUCH would get done if the Government shutdown more often...

Mike Sylvester

Andrew Kaduk said...

Bart,

Apologies if the pic on J4TR was not to your liking. I make no attempt to censor my co-contributors any more than the internet in general attempts to censor me.

I understand the "de-linking" thing, but forgive me if I do not reciprocate as I enjoy your content and will likely keep reading here. That blogroll is my daily reading list.

Regards,

ADK

Bartleby said...

Andrew,

I suspect my tone was probably a little heated in my comment at your blog today, and I'm sorry about that. I understand your policy of non-censorship, while not agreeing with it, and applaud your consistency. I don't think I could blog with a partner, for just that reason: I think a blog is a point of view, really.

Have fun,

Jim W.