Friday, November 18, 2005

Rep. Murtha! You Got Some 'Splainin' to Do!

I see in the Chicago Tribune that both Dear Leader and his minions are quite vexed with Congressman John Murtha over his suggestion that the American military be withdrawn from Iraq in six months. In describing Murtha's proposal, various minions seem to be alternating between the "retreat" and "surrender" formulations. Really, the junta should get its act together and impose some minion standardization and discipline; by failing to do so, it seems to me that they send the altogether wrong message to the tur'r'sts.

The mighty warrior Scott McClellan, chief White House Publicity Hack, truly put the smackdown on Murtha, all the way from the mysterious Orient:

In Pusan, South Korea, White House Spokesman Scott McClellan said Murtha's announcement is "baffling" and compared his position to that of liberal filmmaker Michael Moore and the "extreme liberal wing of the Democratic Party."

"The eve of an historic democratic election in Iraq is not the time to surrender to the terrorists," McClellan said. "After seeing his statement, we remain baffled--nowhere does he explain how retreating from Iraq makes America safer."

Safer than what, one might ask; some national condition, produced by the efforts of the War Party, in which we might again be able to travel by air without being anally probed by aggressive, empowered cretins? But never mind ... Vice-Emperor Dick "You'll Have to Go F--k Yourself, I Have Other Priorities" Cheney also has things to say to Rep. Murtha:

"The suggestion that's been made by some U.S. senators that the president of the United States or any member of this administration purposely misled the American people on prewar intelligence is one of the most dishonest and reprehensible charges ever aired in this city," Cheney said.

Murtha, who won a Bronze Star and two Purple Hearts in Vietnam, responded by witheringly comparing his own military service with Cheney's lack of wartime experience.

"I like guys who've never been there that criticize us who've been there," Murtha said. "I like that. I like guys who got five deferments and never been there and send people to war, and then don't like to hear suggestions about what needs to be done."

One must, I think, suspect that the congressman is being sarcastic here. My guess would be that he really doesn't "like that" at all.

Of course, I would agree that Rep. Murtha has "got some 'splainin' to do." The news story does tell us that he's been in Congress since 1974 and describes him as a "hawk" on defense issues, so he's complicit in the existence and so-frequent use of the U.S.'s huge standing army (and navy, and so forth), against which the Founders warned us repeatedly. And he admits that he voted to authorize the invasion of Iraq. He doesn't exactly say this, but I infer that his claim would be that he supported the invasion on the basis of Saddam's apparently-mythical W's of MD -- deceived by all that doctored intelligence. Well, to him and all the other newly-antiwar folk, I ask: how is it that even I -- a mere mushroom in flyover country, who never sees any intelligence data at all, honest or otherwise -- how is it that even I knew, from the start, that the U.S. had no business invading Iraq? Then, answering my own question: it was easy. Iraq didn't invade any U.S. territory, nor did it threaten to do so. That was true in 1991; it was true in 2003; and it is true of many, many countries today. (All of them, in fact.) This isn't difficult to see; if it were, I wouldn't be able to see it.

Mr. Murtha, if you've actually changed your mind in any really fundamental way, you should say so. I'm pretty sure you haven't; I'm pretty sure you're simply assessing which side of that moistened finger you're holding up in the breeze is cooler. You don't deserve another term in Congress, and I hope you don't get one.

Mssrs. McClellan, Bush, Cheney, Hastert, and others too numerous to mention here: words are inadequate. You'd look just great standing blindfolded against a bloody and pockmarked wall sometime after the revolution. I don't think it will happen ... but it'd sure be sweet.

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