On the eve of the Holy Nine-Eleven, the great Koran-burning is on again, off again, on again, off again ... call the jackleg preacherman Terry Jones a clown if you like -- I'll not dispute you -- but he obviously knows how the great American public enjoys being teased. Indeed, it seems to me that he's learned something from noted big-money basketball gladiator Lebron James. Maybe he could get a half-hour special time slot on ESPN (or maybe the 700 Club, more like) for the revelation of his final decision: torch or no torch for Korans? Relocation or not, for the eeee-vill sort-of-near "ground zero" sort-of mosque?
I tell you, I've seldom read so much nonsense at one time. Some say it's wrong to burn a book -- any book. What superstitious, idolatrous twaddle! A book's a collection of paper and ink, not a person; as long as it's my property, I'll burn any book that seems appropriate to me for burning. I've disposed of more than one badly-written novel that way, in campfires. Maybe Preacher Jones thinks (ha!) it's his duty to burn all erroneous religious texts. If so, I have a question for him: do you plan to burn some Talmud? How about some Books-of-Mormon, Doctrine & Covenants, Pearl of Great Price, and whatnot? Got room in the bonfire for the voluminous printed output of the Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society? Second question (since I'm sure the answer to the first would be "no"): why not?
And then, there's Prexy and his high-ranking uniformed torpedoes; they have the vapors because the Sons of the Prophet will get all angry and kill The Troops on account of Koran-burning, which will make it seem that we're at war with Islam. Well, you know, I'd say the death and destruction that The Troops have rained on hundreds of thousands of them-there Moooslims may already have suggested that to them. When you are, in fact, at war with Islam, the best way to convince them otherwise might be to stop. If you're all worried about The Troops' safety, maybe you could get them out of all the places they're occupying, post haste. Wouldn't take more than a week, if you're really interested. But that's not happening, is it?
We now return you to the bizarre "reality" show that your country has become.