In a speech prepared for delivery to the Knesset, or parliament, Bush pledged that the United States has an unbreakable bond with Israel.Supreme Commander Chickenhawk did not miss an opportunity to promote his chances of sending other goyim-Americans' loved ones into the fresh Middle Eastern slice of hell that he plans to open up:
"Some people suggest that if the United States would just break ties with Israel, all our problems in the Middle East would go away," Bush said in his prepared address. "This is a tired argument that buys into the propaganda of our enemies, and America rejects it utterly. Israel's population may be just over 7 million. But when you confront terror and evil, you are 307 million strong, because America stands with you."
Bush took special aim at Iran and said the United States stands with Israel in opposing moves by Tehran to obtain nuclear weapons.Ah, irony: alive and well you are. No American has to think very hard to answer today's bonus question: What nation-state is the leading
"Permitting the world's leading sponsor of terror to possess the world's deadliest weapon would be an unforgivable betrayal of future generations," the president said. "For the sake of peace, the world must not allow Iran to have a nuclear weapon."
But now for some Inspiration & Uplift™, imperial style:
"Israel will be celebrating its 120th anniversary as one of the world's great democracies, a secure and flourishing homeland for the Jewish people," Bush said.O My Glorious Emperor, know well that in the year 2068, Israel might be democratic, or it might be a "Jewish state" -- but it certainly can't be both. There's this thing called "demographics." To generalize and oversimplify, Muslims have children, and Israelis have contraception and abortion and prosperity, at least for now. Unless Israel can impose an effective form of the Final Solution on those recalcitrant Muslims, Jewish Israelis will find themselves increasingly outnumbered and democratically irrelevant. This is, perhaps, something that hasn't occurred to Your Mediocrity?
How about some prescriptive Inspiration & Uplift™?
"The Palestinian people will have the homeland they have long dreamed of and deserved a democratic state that is governed by law, respects human rights, and rejects terror.Yep, as soon as you swarthy descendants of Esau figure out how to step off the sidewalks and tug your forelocks when in the presence of your betters, there's no reason why you shouldn't have nicer cabins with sound roofs and oiled-paper windows. And, as long as you show that you know your place, we might very well allow you to sit out on the cabin porch of an evening and sing spirituals. Just be sure to show your gratitude. And, uh ... stay away from the white women, Abdul.
"From Cairo and Riyadh to Baghdad and Beirut, people will live in free and independent societies, where a desire for peace is reinforced by ties of diplomacy, tourism, and trade. Iran and Syria will be peaceful nations, where today's oppression is a distant memory and people are free to speak their minds and develop their talents. And al-Qaida, Hezbollah, and Hamas will be defeated, as Muslims across the region recognize the emptiness of the terrorists' vision and the injustice of their cause."
Finally, lest the camel jockeys get a big head, Our Glorious Wartime Leader puts 'em in their place once more:
"The killers claim the mantle of Islam, but they are not religious men," Bush said. "No one who prays to the God of Abraham could strap a suicide vest to an innocent child, or blow up guiltless guests at a Passover Seder, or fly planes into office buildings filled with unsuspecting workers."So that's why they hate Americans and Israelis! Silly me, I had imagined that it might have had something to do with our having used their lands as a bombing practice range for decades, now. But it's really because they're godless! My, my, we truly can learn something new every day ... I guess ...
Bush said that those who carry out such violent acts are serving only their own desire for power.
"They accept no God before themselves. And they reserve a special hatred for the most ardent defenders of liberty, including Americans and Israelis," Bush said. "That is why the founding charter of Hamas calls for the `elimination' of Israel. That is why the followers of Hezbollah chant `Death to Israel, Death to America!' ..."
But you have to hand it to the Theologian-in-Chief, now. I really like that "God of Abraham" formulation ... after all, it wouldn't do be over there in the Land of the Chosen and use any sort of impolitic name, like "Jesus." No, sir, wouldn't be prudent. But let's just skip over that. Those evil jihadis, they're not religious men -- not like the real true religious men and ardent defenders of liberty who've made a blasted moonscape out of the miserable fragments of Gaza where those whose parents had to be tossed off their land to make way for the creation of the Precioussss, sixty years ago, have been pushed. They're not religious men, like Ariel Sharon, who oversaw the massacre of refugee camps in Lebanon in the early 80s. They're not religious men, like the ones who drove their Caterpillar™ bulldozer over the living body of Rachel Corrie. They're not religious men, like the ones who littered the border areas of Lebanon with cluster munitions -- "the gift that keeps on giving" -- a couple of years ago. They're not religious men, like the massacre boys of Haditha, or the guys who shot the wounded in Fallujah, or the perverts who ran -- and are still running, I bet -- Abu Ghraib. They're not religious men, like the remote-control Predator warriors who sit in their air-conditioned workplaces in Nevada and blow up women and children and the occasional wedding party in Afghanistan and Pakistan with Hellfire missiles, pickled off in classic video-game style. No, religious men would never fly an airplane into a building, kill a bunch of civilians, and call it "jihad." Real true religious men use precision-guided standoff weapons, and they live to call it "collateral damage." (And they also live to stop at the O-Club after the day's work for Miller time, too.)
It's a very good thing that the Empire's going broke. Here's hoping that it goes "not with a bang, but a whimper." Because Bush is correct about one thing: it's very bad when rogue states have nukes. And we've got a hell of a lot of them. Worse yet, a substantial fraction of them probably still work. Yikes.