Are They Following, or Leading?

We've been warned by Our Glorious Wartime President that, if the legions are withdrawn from Mesopotamia, the turr'sts will "follow them home." So what's up with this, O Great Decider? Could it be that those dastardly Islamofascists already knew where the U.S. is located? They didn't have to wait to "follow us home," like so many deadly and sinister puppy-dogs? They already knew the way?

That's how it looks:

Six men have been arrested on charges of plotting to attack Fort Dix army base in the US state of New Jersey.

They allegedly planned to use automatic weapons "with the intention of killing as many US soldiers as possible", said the US Attorney's Office in New Jersey.

Four of the men were born in the former Yugoslavia, one in Jordan and one in Turkey, a spokesman said. He described the suspects as "Islamic radicals".

The six were due to appear in court in Camden, New Jersey, on Tuesday.

Some of the suspects were US citizens and others were illegal immigrants, said US Attorney's Office spokesman Michael Drewniak.

They will face charges of conspiracy to kill US servicemen.

"They were planning an attack on Fort Dix in which they would kill as many soldiers as possible," he said.

Five of the suspects lived in Cherry Hill, New Jersey, about 20 miles (32 km) south-west of Fort Dix, where they were arrested on Monday evening.

'Weapons training'

White House spokesman Tony Snow told reporters there was "no direct evidence" that the men allegedly involved in the plot had links to international terror networks.

"They are not being charged with being members of an international terror organisation," he said.

"However, their involvement in weapons training, operational surveillance and discussions about killing American military personnel warranted a strong law enforcement response."

According to local media reports, the men had allegedly trained in weapons use over recent months in the Pocono Mountains area of north-eastern Pennsylvania.

The authorities have stressed that the alleged plot was stopped in the planning stage.

It is believed the men were arrested as part of an undercover FBI operation as they tried to buy AK-47 assault rifles from a local arms dealer.

A spokeswoman for the FBI said a news conference would be held later on Tuesday to discuss the arrests.

Fort Dix is used for military training, particularly for reservists.

Of course, we need to wait to see if this turns out to be another comedy deal, like the case of those desperados who were captured by our elite anti-terror operatives on the verge of blowing up the Sears Tower with rubber bands or firecrackers or something. But, supposing these guys are the real deal, I have to wonder: shouldn't the legions return now? After all, it's pretty difficult to "fight them over there" when they're not over there.

It may also turn out that those "Islamic radicals" (al-Qaeda of Cherry Hill, NJ?) were simply trying to insure world peace by effecting regime change here in the U.S., where a criminal junta is known to possess weapons of mass destruction, and has a proven record of many international aggressions, including the unprovoked invasions of countries half the globe away. After all, they could hardly be expected to wait for the smoking gun to show up, perhaps in the form of a mushroom cloud, could they?

O Mighty Chimperor, I'm feeling very unsafe! Please, sir, start reading my e-mails! (Oh, that's right, you're already doing that.) Please start tapping my phone! (Uh ... yeah ... that too, I guess.) Please, come and take my firearms away! Implement randomly-located, airport-style search-and-grope checkpoints in as many public places as possible! Demand to see my papers -- they're in order! -- everywhere. Only then can I start to feel secure.

Or maybe just invade Iran. That might do the trick.