Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Primarily of Local Interest (If Any)

I generally don't write about Fort Wayne-area matters in this blog, because they are really not all that interesting to me, and probably less so for that large fraction of my few readers who do not live in Indiana's 3rd congressional district. But I've just returned from a disappointing visit to the website of the Democratic opponent of the Republican incumbent in this district, and I was moved to use his "contact" link to ask him to make good a significant shortcoming of his campaign site:
Dear Dr. Hayhurst,

Please help me. I'm trying to make my electoral plans for this November. I absolutely refuse to consider voting for your principal opponent, on the entirely-sufficient grounds that he is a smarmy little chickenhawk creep who richly deserves not only to lose, but also to trip and fall face-first into a fresh pile of dog excrement immediately after learning of his loss. Ordinarily, I would simply vote for the Libertarian candidate, as a strategy for harmlessly throwing away my vote. This time, though, I sense the critical importance of the bloodthirsty and warmongering GOP losing power in as many ways as possible, and I'm considering voting for you.

Your website, however, makes this difficult. I was hoping to discover your thoughts and intentions concerning the Empire's wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, the war that will probably be launched against Iran before November, and our additional surrogate wars being fought against Muslims using our Israeli mercenaries. Unfortunately, I was able to discover nothing about these matters. Do you not think they are important? Do you hope that, by finessing these questions, people on both sides may be enticed into voting for you? Or is there some other explanation?

Please help me to arrive at a decision. I always like to know whether I "have a dog in this fight," or not.


Thank you,


[Bartleby]
If I hear anything interesting from him, I'll share it here.

1 comment:

Pam said...

Great letter. Maybe it will make him realize he needs to take a stand.

I am sorely disappointed with the Democratic party in general. But not enough to vote libertarian ;-).