Eureka!

I've discovered a better way to enjoy one of Il Duce's speeches: read it. Really! It's lots better than listening, or -- worse yet -- listening and watching. Last night's, in text form, isn't nearly as hideous as you might expect (and as I would expect) from Jorge.

Doesn't mean I'm not going to complain, though:

For decades, the United States has not been in complete control of its borders. As a result, many who want to work in our economy have been able to sneak across our border -- and millions have stayed.

"Not in complete control" -- now, that's an interesting way to put it. To say that the U.S. has not been in complete control of its non-border with Mexico is true. But it's true in the same way as saying, "Mr. Smith's remains, having floated in the Maumee River for three weeks in July, are not completely presentable." True, but not particularly expressive of the actual situation.

First, the United States must secure its borders. This is a basic responsibility of a sovereign nation.

That is, perhaps, the first thing that's ever spewed from the Bushmouth with which I can completely agree. Leaving me only a few simple questions: Why, O Chimperor, did it take so long for this to dawn on you? Could it be that you're not ... uh ... completely sincere? Could it be that there's been all this unsightly business in the streets, and there's an election coming up this fall? Hmmmmm ...

This program would match willing foreign workers with willing American employers for jobs Americans are not doing.

As the pre-Alzheimer's Ronald Reagan might have said: there you go again, Jorge. "Jobs that Americans are not doing" -- well, at least that's a minor variation on his standard "jobs that Americans will not do." The translation to honest-speak is the same, though: jobs that not enough Americans will do at the wage that many American employers -- who have my ear, who have my class sympathy, and who regularly purchase access to me and my fellow pols -- prefer to pay.

The "immigration issue" is another illustration of how the standard political paradigm is becoming amusingly irrelevant. More on that later.