I'm an electronic subscriber to Joseph Sobran's column, "The Reactionary Utopian." This means I get his columns in my email a couple of weeks before they're released, but I'm enjoined from posting or otherwise distributing them. But I just read one about the potential upcoming attack on Iran, entitled "Apocalypse Now?", that you'll be able to read here come May 11, and I just have to share a quick little snippet from it. Maybe I can excuse it as "fair use" or something ... or maybe I'll just have to be a micro-criminal. Anyway:
Islam, Bush has said, is a religion of peace that has been hijacked by a few fanatics. Some, observing him, might say the same about Christianity.
Ain't it the truth, though.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
A Perfect Storm
Here comes another cosmic convergence of many sorts of stupidity, greed, demagoguery, and malevolence. Congress is heavily involved (I say, at the risk of redundancy). You'd think there was an election coming up or something:
Let's see: a $100 "rebate." Merriam-Webster defines rebate as "a return of a part of a payment." Since this would be coming from our supervisors, the "payment" that is being microscopically returned must be the taxes we've paid to them. That being the case, I wonder: what's the logical connection between being a taxpayer and being a gasoline consumer? Oh, that's right, there isn't any. Unless, of course, a particular kind of tax is being rebated, that being the federal taxes on the sale of gasoline. (That's an interesting notion in itself, given the utter fungibility of the loot the government shakes out of us in its many and varied ways, but let that go for now.) So, our masters will continue to collect gasoline taxes while simultaneously sending us money to pay some of them, sort-of-kind-of; the skies are darkened with crisscrossing dollars, which might seem a little wasteful at first, until you consider that accountants, clerks, and office folk of many sorts need full employment, too. Besides, if our gracious masters decided to simply suspend the collection of federal gasoline taxes for a while, that would not only be far too simple -- it would also bring up the awkward necessity of reimposing the taxes, which might tend to cancel all that spaniel-like good will that we'll all have for our generous masters. Couldn't do that, at least not close to an election ... and we're never more than two years from an election. So that's out.
And, under the GOP proposal, the feds would be "allowed" to prosecute retailers who "unlawfully inflate" the price of gasoline. Wait a minute. If there is some way of inflating gas prices that's "unlawful," why are our masters waiting? Why would they need new legislation to allow themselves to prosecute violations of existing law? And what would (or does) constitute an unlawful inflation of the price of a commodity? Oh, Grand Old Republican Party, wasn't it supposed to be those eee-villlll Democrats who were always cranking up the "politics of envy" by which the mobs were to be mobilized against the heroic businessman? Where'd all the "gouging" talk come from?
We're all supposed to get exercised about the accursed price-gougers right about now. Why, they're the reason we've got $3 gas, without a hurricane! What you're not supposed to think about, under any circumstances, is the fact that the world's oil markets are driven, to a large extent, by what goes on in the Middle East, and the Middle East is currently Dubya's Magic War Playground. And The Slow One, having taken down what used to be a pretty good oil exporter -- Iraq -- now has the sights set squarely on another big oil exporter whose name is spelled almost the same. Don't even think about that. Just watch the mailbox for that $100 check, drawn from your grandchildren's credit account.
As outlined by the senior GOP leadership aide, the energy package would give taxpayers a $100 rebate, repeal tax incentives for oil companies and allow the Federal Trade Commission to prosecute retailers unlawfully inflating the price of gasoline.The amount of insanity here beggars one's ability to adequately mock it. Where to begin? Even if we can't make fun of all of it, we must at least "hit the high spots," as they say.
Let's see: a $100 "rebate." Merriam-Webster defines rebate as "a return of a part of a payment." Since this would be coming from our supervisors, the "payment" that is being microscopically returned must be the taxes we've paid to them. That being the case, I wonder: what's the logical connection between being a taxpayer and being a gasoline consumer? Oh, that's right, there isn't any. Unless, of course, a particular kind of tax is being rebated, that being the federal taxes on the sale of gasoline. (That's an interesting notion in itself, given the utter fungibility of the loot the government shakes out of us in its many and varied ways, but let that go for now.) So, our masters will continue to collect gasoline taxes while simultaneously sending us money to pay some of them, sort-of-kind-of; the skies are darkened with crisscrossing dollars, which might seem a little wasteful at first, until you consider that accountants, clerks, and office folk of many sorts need full employment, too. Besides, if our gracious masters decided to simply suspend the collection of federal gasoline taxes for a while, that would not only be far too simple -- it would also bring up the awkward necessity of reimposing the taxes, which might tend to cancel all that spaniel-like good will that we'll all have for our generous masters. Couldn't do that, at least not close to an election ... and we're never more than two years from an election. So that's out.
And, under the GOP proposal, the feds would be "allowed" to prosecute retailers who "unlawfully inflate" the price of gasoline. Wait a minute. If there is some way of inflating gas prices that's "unlawful," why are our masters waiting? Why would they need new legislation to allow themselves to prosecute violations of existing law? And what would (or does) constitute an unlawful inflation of the price of a commodity? Oh, Grand Old Republican Party, wasn't it supposed to be those eee-villlll Democrats who were always cranking up the "politics of envy" by which the mobs were to be mobilized against the heroic businessman? Where'd all the "gouging" talk come from?
We're all supposed to get exercised about the accursed price-gougers right about now. Why, they're the reason we've got $3 gas, without a hurricane! What you're not supposed to think about, under any circumstances, is the fact that the world's oil markets are driven, to a large extent, by what goes on in the Middle East, and the Middle East is currently Dubya's Magic War Playground. And The Slow One, having taken down what used to be a pretty good oil exporter -- Iraq -- now has the sights set squarely on another big oil exporter whose name is spelled almost the same. Don't even think about that. Just watch the mailbox for that $100 check, drawn from your grandchildren's credit account.
Monday, April 24, 2006
CD Pimping
The older of my former children (when they're six inches taller than you are, it's hard to call 'em kids) introduced me to Porcupine Tree some time back, and I recently acquired their disc "Deadwing." The reviewers typically want to compare PT to Pink Floyd, but to me, King Crimson (first version) is more like it. Moody stuff, but edgy ... and a fair amount of melodic beauty and lyrical poetry. Give them a listen sometime. Other albums I can recommend include "Lightbulb Sun" and "In Absentia." There's a considerable backlog of discography going back to the early 90s that I'll be nibbling away at.
Nice tracks: "Arriving Somewhere, But Not Here;" "Mellotron Scratch;" "Lazarus."
Doing the Math
Reported by the BBC:
Without doubt, the government pays for moving in much the same way it pays for everything else: lavishly. But, if you get your calculator out, and divide ten to the tenth power dollars by 8 times ten to the third power Marines, you'll find that we're talking about $1,250,000 for each and every Marine. (That's a million and a quarter, of which we apparently wanted the Japanese to pay $937,500; and they seemingly have settled on $762,500. That final sum is quite amazing all by itself ... they must be getting really tired of having their young girls raped by America's Finest.)
A million and a quarter bucks. Daaay-ummm! I'm obviously in the wrong line of work. I should launch a new business: Gummint Movers, Inc. I bet I could move Marines for, oh, maybe $50,000 each, and not leave a single one of them complaining. For that sort of money, their belongings would be packed and unpacked by professionals; and they'd fly in some sort of über-first-class status, with plenty of gourmet food and their choice of the finest wines, straight bourbon whiskey, single-malt Scotch, or German beers. And I'd still make a positively indecent profit.
Of course, I'm sure that a redeployment of these soldiers to the Mexican non-border is totally out of the question. After all, we simply must see to the security of the far side of the Pacific Ocean, against ... well ... whoever's currently threatening to invade Guam or Okinawa. Iran, that must be, I guess.
Japan and the United States have resolved a dispute over the costs of relocating 8,000 US marines from Okinawa to the Pacific island of Guam.Leaving aside what seems to me to be a fairly obvious question (why do we need eight thousand Marines on either Okinawa or Guam?), I can certainly see why the Japanese would object to being asked to pay seven and a half billion dollars. Maybe we should take a lesson from those clever Japanese, and do a little objecting, ourselves, to paying that sort of cash to move eight thousand folks.
Tokyo had objected to US calls for it to pay 75% of the estimated $10bn cost.
But after talks in Washington on Sunday, a deal was reached under which Tokyo will contribute $6.1bn to the cost of relocation to the US territory.
Without doubt, the government pays for moving in much the same way it pays for everything else: lavishly. But, if you get your calculator out, and divide ten to the tenth power dollars by 8 times ten to the third power Marines, you'll find that we're talking about $1,250,000 for each and every Marine. (That's a million and a quarter, of which we apparently wanted the Japanese to pay $937,500; and they seemingly have settled on $762,500. That final sum is quite amazing all by itself ... they must be getting really tired of having their young girls raped by America's Finest.)
A million and a quarter bucks. Daaay-ummm! I'm obviously in the wrong line of work. I should launch a new business: Gummint Movers, Inc. I bet I could move Marines for, oh, maybe $50,000 each, and not leave a single one of them complaining. For that sort of money, their belongings would be packed and unpacked by professionals; and they'd fly in some sort of über-first-class status, with plenty of gourmet food and their choice of the finest wines, straight bourbon whiskey, single-malt Scotch, or German beers. And I'd still make a positively indecent profit.
Of course, I'm sure that a redeployment of these soldiers to the Mexican non-border is totally out of the question. After all, we simply must see to the security of the far side of the Pacific Ocean, against ... well ... whoever's currently threatening to invade Guam or Okinawa. Iran, that must be, I guess.
Friday, April 21, 2006
Separated at Birth?
Oscar Wilde said: "A man's face is his autobiography." Of course, the fact that someone famous said something doesn't make it true ... but it often makes it elegantly-stated.
In any case, I was noticing the other day that Cal Thomas, that noted cheerleader for war against anybody Ay-rab, has an updated photo appearing with his syndicated columns. When first I saw it, I thought: He should've kept the mustache, and shouldn't have lost whatever weight it took to make him look ... well, the way he looks. Disturbing, that image is.
I also thought that he looked just like someone else. But until this morning, I couldn't put my finger on just where I'd seen Cal's twin. Suddenly, it came to me: Dr. Dealgood, from the third (and least) of the Mad Max films, Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome. You know, the
master of ceremonies in Thunderdome, the one who explained so eloquently to the crowd that to bust a deal is to face the wheel.
If Mr. Wilde was correct about the face being an autobiography, maybe Mr. Thomas should have made some better choices.
In any case, I was noticing the other day that Cal Thomas, that noted cheerleader for war against anybody Ay-rab, has an updated photo appearing with his syndicated columns. When first I saw it, I thought: He should've kept the mustache, and shouldn't have lost whatever weight it took to make him look ... well, the way he looks. Disturbing, that image is.
I also thought that he looked just like someone else. But until this morning, I couldn't put my finger on just where I'd seen Cal's twin. Suddenly, it came to me: Dr. Dealgood, from the third (and least) of the Mad Max films, Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome. You know, the
master of ceremonies in Thunderdome, the one who explained so eloquently to the crowd that to bust a deal is to face the wheel.If Mr. Wilde was correct about the face being an autobiography, maybe Mr. Thomas should have made some better choices.
No Links -- No Complaints
Once again, it's confirmed that trends start on the coasts and move slowly inland, only arriving in my part of the land when they're pretty well obsolete where they started. I remember being in Los Angeles a couple of years ago, on day-job business, and seeing people running around with little wireless ear units in their ears (often with weird, Borg-ish blinking LEDs). It turned out that these were partial cellular telephones, with the rest of the phone being carried in the pocket or otherwise out of sight, linked to the earpiece through the magic of Bluetooth. I heard that these units were costly at the time, and maybe they still are, although they've doubtless become cheaper. It was funny, though, to see maybe one person in ten running around with a blinking ear.
So, last evening I had my regular Thursday "extra" office hour for my students. Now, around the university, I of course see many cell phones. Most students seem to have an autonomic reflex that causes them to put phone to ear immediately on leaving any class. But last night, as I descended the stairway to leave Kettler Hall, a young woman was ascending the same stairs, chatting away loudly with nothing in her hand. She and I were the only people within sight. It occurred to me only after I had passed her that she undoubtedly had one of those earpieces in place -- hidden by her hair -- and was on the phone. It was a mildly jarring experience for me. I got to thinking ... I suppose the social conventions by which we more or less automatically evaluate others' behavior will need to adapt. Ordinarily, we think of someone who walks along talking to no one as a lunatic. Now, we'll need some other way of sorting out the hallucinating mad-persons from those who just have more advanced cell phones than we have.
So, last evening I had my regular Thursday "extra" office hour for my students. Now, around the university, I of course see many cell phones. Most students seem to have an autonomic reflex that causes them to put phone to ear immediately on leaving any class. But last night, as I descended the stairway to leave Kettler Hall, a young woman was ascending the same stairs, chatting away loudly with nothing in her hand. She and I were the only people within sight. It occurred to me only after I had passed her that she undoubtedly had one of those earpieces in place -- hidden by her hair -- and was on the phone. It was a mildly jarring experience for me. I got to thinking ... I suppose the social conventions by which we more or less automatically evaluate others' behavior will need to adapt. Ordinarily, we think of someone who walks along talking to no one as a lunatic. Now, we'll need some other way of sorting out the hallucinating mad-persons from those who just have more advanced cell phones than we have.
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