Saturday, March 07, 2009

What Happens If ...

... we don't have a Surgeon-General?

Who's this "we," anyway? I should be more precise: what happens if there no one is Surgeon-General of the United States of America?

I suppose that means that the duties of said Surgeon-General go unperformed ... whatever those duties might be. As far as I've been able to tell from my admittedly limited exposure to the work product of Surgeon-Generals (or, more likely, Surgeons-General), that consists of repetitious high-minded hectoring of we Americanos, as well as the occasional bit of low comedy, such as C. Everett Koop in his fanciful semi-naval uniform (apparently these folks acquire the spurious naval rank of "vice-admiral," albeit in the Public Health Service), or Joycelyn Elders and virtually everything she ever had to say. So, we'd have to do without that.

"Look at me! I'm a Vice-Admiral! That's even better than being a Vice Lord!"

And then, Joycelyn Elders certainly looked fetching in that naval-warrior suit herself, no?

On the other hand, that'd be one fewer bloated salary to pay.

So, whaddaya say? I say: let's give it a try.


Anonymous said...

Uh, Jim? Aren't you forgetting the "6,000-member commissioned corps of the U.S. Public Health Service" that's led by the SG? Who would tell them when to administer the involuntary vaccines that we will all surely need?

Mimi said...

You come up with the best ideas, Jim! Yes, jettison the surgeon general and 90 percent of the other parasites in the swollen, blood-sucking government ranks. They're expensive, we don't need them, and they do more harm than good.
(Oh, never mind it, that's just me being rational.)

itsmecissy said...

No Surgeon General? OMG, I better get me a Life-Alert!