I Double-Dog Dare You, Infidel

Now, I'm not wanting to say that the Osama bin Laden crowd is necessarily overjoyed when our supervisors are baited into flushing whatever wealth remains in the Empire -- not to mention the odd Troop here and there -- down the proverbial toilet of unwinnable war and perpetual occupation. But how else do we explain an effort by the current al-Qaeda Number Two, of which there seems to be an inexhaustible supply, to get The Chosen One (all-glory-to-his-name) riled up?

In a message purportedly from Ayman al-Zawahiri, the al-Qaeda deputy called Mr Obama a "house negro" - a demeaning term implying he served white people.

Mr Obama's plan to bolster the US military presence in Afghanistan would fail, Zawahiri said.

If genuine, the message would be the first acknowledgement by al-Qaeda of the president-elect's victory.

The audio message appeared on militant websites.

Zawahiri, an Egyptian by birth, is often referred to as Osama Bin Laden's right-hand man and the chief ideologue of al-Qaeda.

In the short message he warned Mr Obama of failure if he followed Bush administration policies in the Middle East and Afghanistan.

He also criticised Mr Obama - whose father is Muslim - for abandoning his Islamic roots.

"You were born to a Muslim father, but you chose to stand with the enemies of Muslims," he said.

On Sunday, in his first television interview since his 4 November election win, Mr Obama reiterated his commitment to shift more US troops to war-torn Afghanistan.

Stamping out al-Qaeda "once and for all" was a top priority, he said, and capturing or killing Osama Bin Laden was "critical" to US security.

Memo to the presumptive president-elect: even if Chief Ideologue Zawahiri calls your mother bad names, don't do what your enemy wants you to do. Even if he says Michelle is ugly and your daughters lack charm. Even if he says your new shelter puppy has fleas. Your enemy has reasons for baiting you into renewing and intensifying your war fury. Don't do it. Do something else instead. If an attractive alternative does not occur to you, feel free to leave a comment ... I have several alternatives, ready and waiting. No charge, either. It's the least I can do.