This may bring a smile to anyone who has ever: been an instructor; had an instructor; or both. And I would guess that covers most of us. I've never graded an exam with responses approaching these, but I think they pass the smell test for actuality.
I'd have given the student a few points there; he or she had clearly recognized that the object's gravitational potential energy was important to the solution, and had made a decent start before giving up and going to comedy land. Now, for an interesting take on thermodynamics:
Maybe a few points for mathematical whimsy? Okay, maybe not.
Finally: when all else fails, change the subject. Answer a different question.