Allen County Sheriff Ken Fries is taking a closer look at taser guns.Now, the above is not a transcript from this morning's "news" story as read by our telegenic hair-product models, who made it clear that what Allen County's finest really need in their paws is unlimited doses of sub-lethal lightning bolts.
The sheriff has volunteered to be tased later this month to find out for himself what a person goes through after being shot with the non-lethal alternative to stop a suspect.
According to a news release the sheriff is currently looking for funding options to offset the cost of the devices.
These things are a terrible, terrible idea. In principle, they might indeed enable a police officer to stop a miscreant who would otherwise be shot with a firearm. Much more likely, they will enable many badge-heavy goons to hand out summary punishment to any who annoy them, with little or nothing in the way of accountability or repercussions to the B-HGs. Instead, the best I can hope for is that Ryan "Jutting Jaw" Elijah, or Mary Collins the Fireproof Blonde, will be the ones who incur the wrath of some Electric Robocop who's having a bad day. It won't happen, but it's kind of a pleasant thought.