Harry What?

I live in Allen County, Indiana, which is dominated by the city of Fort Wayne. In this county, there aren't many growth industries these days. After beef 'n' tallow chain restaurants, payday lenders, pawn shops, military recruiting offices, and deserted strip malls, there isn't much jumpin' ... except -- how could I forget? -- government. Oh yes, there's always a need for more government, and more government needs more space. And the City-County building downtown isn't nearly large or grand enough any more, and besides, somebody well-connected just happened to own another vacant white-elephant building downtown. So, of course, the city paid top dollar, plated the place with gold and encrusted it with gems, and now ... it needs a name.

So they went to The People, and did a little internet give-us-your-input deal. And I appreciate their doing so; I had about ten solid minutes of Friday-night hilarity a few weeks ago, that being how long it took "Big Dick Black" to get himself blocked by our high-minded supervisors. (Yes, I'm completely irresponsible, but I gots to have me a little fun somehow.) And the runaway winner, according to the Voice of the People, was "Harry Baals Government Center."

(For my non-local readers, Fort Wayne once had a mayor named Harry Baals. No, really, it's true.)

Well, needless to say, our supervisors aren't about to name the new gummint sandbox after Harry Baals. The People have spoken, but now The People can just dummy up and listen while their supervisors 'splain how it's gonna be.

I don't know what name the recently-acquired hog trough will sport. Actually, it would be most appropriate to sell the naming rights to the highest acceptable bidder. I'm thinking Citibank would be a natural. Then we could have a Citibank Citihall. Nice and corporate, don't you think?