Harmless Fun

Last fall, the voters spoke, and their voices were heard! Contrary to what some jerks say, democracy really does work, and voting really does change things.

And so what, one might ask, has changed?

Much. The House of Representatives now has a GOP majority, and that means new leadership. Yes, that's actually the word used by the Washington Post to describe Weepy John Boehner and his jowly confreres -- I'm not making this up. But everything's going to be very different now, as can plainly be seen:

The new House Republican leadership is getting ready for its much-anticipated reading of the Constitution as the House begins its workday Thursday.

The basic document, 4,500 or so words, which lays out the three-branch structure and the roles of each branch, would take about 30 minutes to read aloud. The amendments, about 3,300 words, would take an additional 20 to 25 minutes. If most all members take part, that would be about 18 words each. That's maybe 10 to 15 seconds per member live on C-SPAN.

Yes, our crazy old grandpa's dessicated bones will be honored ceremonially by our supervisors. Have no fear, though; it's obviously not going to interfere with business as usual. Has it ever, in your lifetime or mine? Didn't think so.

Really, I welcome their constitution-reading ritual. It offers a chance of some low fun: will one or two of our dullest lawfakers stumble comically over a few a them-there fifty-cent words? And, in my diseased after-the-Revo daydreams, when they're all facing People's Reactionary Utopian Justice, they won't be able to plead ignorance of the poor inert document to which they all pledge a solemn oath, just before they apply themselves anew to savagely raping and dismembering it.